We surveyed a group of Moms and asked them a simple question: What is something that you wish your significant other knew?
“I wish he knew that he is a fantastic father. He doubts it and struggles with it, but he pours every spare second into making our girls smile. He plays, teaches and plans for their futures. I also wish he knew how to close the kitchen cabinets.”
Sarah, 33, Delaware
“I wish he knew that his constant need for affirmation of my feelings is emotionally draining.”
Wendy, 52, Washington
“I wish he put a little more effort into romance outside of the bedroom”
Allison, 33, Virginia
“I wish he didn’t wait for me to ask for help, that if he sees that I need help, he’d just jump in”
Hannah, 30, Pennsylvania
“I don’t always bring my troubles to him when I know his plate is full. His support means the word to but not at the expense of his own mental health. I don’t want to overburden him.”
Amanda, 37, Virginia
“I wish he knew that I need more time to myself then the average person. When I don’t spend my free time with him, that has nothing to do with not wanting to spend time with him. I need time to recharge my batteries and do my own thing so I can be a better partner and mother.”
Jennifer, 41, Toronto
“That every kid is different and, at times, needs different treatment”
Jessica, 33, Nebraska
“I wish he understood what it is like being a Mom. The amount of pressure I have coming at me from people because the boys don’t fit cookie cutter milestones, or how hard it is to be so in love with being a mom but also how depressing and lonely it can be. I wish he knew how hard it is to constantly fulfill everyone else’s needs and how easily my own are forgotten and that I’m not putting my own needs on purpose, but that my mind works in a way that my children take priority.”
Kendra, 36, Montana
“I wish he knew when to keep me on my healthy diet and when to give me French fries and back away slowly.”
Eva, 32, Netherlands
“I wish he knew that the time he spends overworking and missing out on time with family can’t be replaced and the kids would rather have their dad around more than being able to buy expensive things.”
Kelley, 37, Southern California
“I wish my ex new how underappreciated I felt. As a Mom, I did it all (work, dinner, homework, school events, sports, birthday parties, etc.) While I do enjoy spending time with my daughter and taking her everywhere, it can be exhausting and a simple “hey thank you for all you do for our daughter. I see it and appreciate it” would have gone a long way.
Issa, 37, New Jersey
“I wish that he would occasionally buy me flowers.”
Dawn, 36, Virginia
“I wish he knew what a great Dad he is”
Jessica, 34, Pennsylvania
“I wish he knew when to let me vent and when to offer solutions.”
Gretel, 42, New York
“I wish he knew how overwhelming it is to be a Mom when everyone judges Moms so harshly”
Melissa, 38, New York
“He has a hard time understanding that I like to be alone sometimes and that it is not a reflection on him or our relationship at all”
Karen, 48, Michigan
“I wish he knew how to throw his trash away”
Lindsay, 37, Georgia
“I wish she knew there was a method to my madness”
Nic, 34, Oklahoma
“That the distance is harder on me than I let on”
Shelley, 40, North Carolina
“That most of the time when I appear to be irritable or upset it is usually not about the topic at hand and that I’m usually not upset with him or the kids. It’s usually because I’m stressed on a deeper level.”
CJ, 37, Michigan
“What it feels like to be an empath, it’s something you experience and not something you can describe.”
Angie, 40, North Carolina
“How much I feel like I am about to fall apart with the kids when it looks like I’m holding it together just fine.”
Rachel, 42, Spain
“I wish he knew how valuable his presence truly is in our home, so that maybe he would magically work less hours and be with us more. He is important and loved and I think our generation taught men that their identity as a father is providing material things and safety. It’s a disservice because I think he sees his emotional value to us, but he hasn’t the faintest idea how to access that emotional tuned part of himself and I think he his hurting his own mental health because of it. I think that happens to a lot of dads. This opens the door wide for depression. Some dads get a bit lost with all these babies because they don’t need materials from you, they just need you to be there and interested in their day to day and you don’t often know how to just do that, so you let the moms do it and we just continue on”
Martha, 36, Hawaii
“Now that we have kids, I wish he understood how little time he’s going to have for all of these projects or activities he enjoys.”
Rosemarie, 36, Pennsylvania
“It is really the little things that matter most. If the sink is full, empty the dishwasher and load it. If you fix yourself a snack ask if you can grab me something.”
Jacqueline, 30, Ohio