When this charming book arrived at our home, our kids immediately wanted to take a look. It’s a simple book, but the message goes deep. As a family, we were immediately curious: Who wrote this book, why and what’s it all about. Our kids were delighted to learn that author Kevin Payne himself would answer a few of our questions! You can see the Q & A below, and if you’re interested in getting the book yourself, it’s coming out April 1st (and we’ll add the link then!)
The book follows Mole on a journey to find the perfect hat. How might parents use this story to talk with their kids about identity and self-confidence?
I know one of the favorite parts of seeing my own children grow up is when they developed a sense of self. It may seem small to us but communicating what they’d like to do, eat or how they’d like to dress is a huge milestone. It can also be very frustrating! While we may have been used to dressing them how we’d like, all of a sudden they have tantrums because they can’t dress like Spiderman to go to buy groceries. But if we learn to loosen up it can boost their selfconfidence and sense of identity. Wear the scuba mask to the park, dress like a knight to go for a walk – we should try and encourage children to express themselves as much as possible because in the end we want to prepare them to have the same confidence as adults.
Mole tries on a variety of hats before realizing that creating his own is the best way to find the perfect fit. How can Mole’s journey encourage children to embrace creative experimentation in their own lives?
We all know that feeling instinctively when we put on an item of clothing and whether it feels ‘right’ or not. No matter if people tell us we look great, it is difficult to shake that feeling and if we go against our gut feeling it can leave us feeling self-conscious and unable to enjoy what we are doing. I like to think of Mole trying lots of hats is a bit like us spreading all of our clothes on our beds and trying all the different combinations on in front of the mirror until we find the perfect one. For children, how wonderful it is to have a whole new world to explore as they grow—from
food, to clothes to experiences—the world has so much to offer and they shouldn’t be scared from trying and failing at things until they find the things that make them happy. Again, with my
own children, we’ve tried all kinds of clubs and activities, some for weeks, some for months, some for years before finding the thing that makes their heart sing. Ultimately, as parents that’s
we want for our children, but we shouldn’t forget that for ourselves too.
What inspired you to write Is That My Hat?, and why did you use this “deadpan” style of illustration to depict the story?
Having read hundreds and hundreds of children’s books at bedtimes, I learned that the standout ones were sometimes the simplest. I know in my writing in the past I may have had the tendency to overcomplicate things with language and I wanted to strip it back and create a story that was simple, silly, and fun. I also wanted to encourage the idea of resilience and resourcefulness as I believe it is an important message for all of us. I know in my own life that there have been times I have waited for things to happen, hoping and dreaming that I’d get a break but eventually realised that sometimes you have to make things happen yourself. So in that respect I am a lot like Mole in the story. Now, I am much more quick and proactive in searching for opportunities than just sitting back and hoping. And I’ve found that, although scary, if you go looking, you’ll find them. In terms of humor, I absolutely love deadpan humor and the image of these hats flicking on and off of Mole’s head while his expression doesn’t change makes me smile. Hopefully, other people too! I am a big fan of ‘The Office’ and there is a meme of Michael Scott staring with an emotionless face that cracks me up every time I see it so this was a nod to that.
Is That My Hat? uses humor and silliness to engage young readers. What role do you think humor plays in teaching important life lessons?
Humor plays a huge role in my life. Life is tough enough without fun in it. Being playful and silly seems to be something we grow out of sadly, but I feel fortunate that when I travel the world
visiting schools and working with children I feel free to be a kid again. Dancing, singing, drawing, storytelling, puppets—all things that I loved as a kid I still get to do as an adult. My kids also tell me that my dad jokes are terrible so I must be doing something right. I used to be quite self conscious but now I’ve introduced more play into my life happiness has followed. I am quite
honest with the children that I speak to on school visits, usually the older ones, that for a few years I forgot how to have fun and that perhaps some of the adults in their lives have too. There
seems to be a great pressure to ‘grow up’ and be serious but, ultimately, life should be fun. I encourage the children to talk to their grown-ups and let them know it’s ok to have fun and if one
of them has ever gone home and done this then it’s been worthwhile.
Mole’s story is about finding the perfect hat, but it’s also about finding what works for you, even it’s different from what others might expect. How can this story inspire parents to have conversations with their kids about the value of self-expression?
Self-expression is such an important element of life and happiness. Many of us spend our lives trying to conform to what we think we should be wearing and doing without feeling comfortable. I’ve been guilty of this myself, but we shouldn’t be too hard on ourselves about this. It’s all linked to confidence and finding what makes us happy. If we learn to tune into our feelings and can encourage this from a young age through conversations, then children can learn that they will soon find their ‘tribe’ of people who won’t judge. Expressing ourselves though clothing is a wonderful way to connect to like-minded people. For me, if I’m wearing a football shirt or a nostalgic cartoon t-shirt, I know part of wearing it is hoping it may connect with people who see it. It has led to some great conversations with strangers where you find things in common. All good at validating who we are and knowing there are people in the world who like the same things as us. One of my favorite items of clothing is my ‘Bert and Ernie’ t-shirt. I’m in my mid-40s, but if a property ever became available on Sesame Street I would move there in a heartbeat. Perhaps the best way of identifying this element of self-expression within in the book is best left to my friend who is a wonderful maker of bespoke hats in the UK, she says: “Hats have silent powers to transform your mood and are such a simple way to elevate and transform your day.” – Claire Simpson Millinery.
So get out there, explore, find fun and if nothing feels right in your life perhaps be like Mole and find your own way of making it happen. Go for it!
