Most men don’t realize that they have a special place in their wife’s heart when they honor her. When a man doesn’t stand up to honor his wife, the foundation of the marriage begins to shake.
Standing up for your wife and protecting her from attacks that come from the people close to you is the primary duty of a husband. Your wife and you are a team now, and it is your responsibility to protect her from the people in your world who she is now associated with. You have to let her feel that you are supportive of her and that you will defend her from other members in your circle. Let your family and friends know that there is a line that they cannot cross when it comes to your wife and your marriage. The basic foundation of a marriage depends upon mutual trust, respect and support. If a husband doesn’t stand up for his wife, it gets really difficult for the wife to feel respected and supported.
My wife and everything related to her is a priority for me when it concerns other individuals, especially around my folks. She has left the comfort zone of her family and friends and now looks to me to stand up for her or defend her when things go wrong or are misinterpreted. Not that she can’t defend herself, but her actions might lead to other devastating consequences and that she is aware of. So, she quietly listens and lets it go without even mentioning it to me.
Every house has a different set of rules and traditions and it may get difficult for an outsider to adjust to them, more so when you live in a joint family. Confronting members of the family or friends can be a task when your partner is involved. However, it has to be dealt with in a tactful manner without unnecessarily making her acknowledge her mistake in front of people or getting into an argument with any party involved or shutting down anyone. It did take me some time to master the skill of standing up for her without disrupting every other relationship.
Defend her in Public, Correct her in Private.
Correcting your wife in private is the key. She appreciates it and welcomes the inputs. Maybe, this is what is required in a relationship and this is what builds the trust and confidence between couples. When you correct her in public, your partner starts developing resentment towards you. Marriage is all about becoming a team for the rest of your lives. You must work together while dealing with situations and not desert each other in times of need. Furthermore, this spineless behavior can have negative consequences - either she will crumble, or the marriage will!
Siddhi & Akshay, married for one and a half year, started blogging to discuss sustainability in marriage to educate and empower other couples by writing blogs and drawing doodles. Siddhi is a graduate in Mass Media and is pursuing an MBA in Marketing, while Akshay is an Engineer, an Economist and a Lawyer. Together they share their thoughts on best practices in marriage through their Instagram page: @thathusbandstuff