YOUR STORY

Dad-Ventions

12 August, 2019 | Steven Specht
  • Dad-Ventions

If Necessity is the Mother of all Invention, Laziness is its Father. 

Being a stay-at-home dad, I end up responsible for most of the stuff that has historically been the domain of the ladies. They’ve done a great job over the centuries, but I have to say that they’ve missed a few things that could make our lives a little easier around the house.

Here are my top three. It is no surprise that all three revolve around the revolting task of laundry.

In the dog house over melted bras? You need the Bra’d-Cast™

If you are like me, the conception of your third child was delayed by three months, because mommy didn’t want to sleep with daddy after he melted all her lingerie. She loaded the washer, and I hastily dumped everything in the dryer without checking carefully for those tiny little items that are priced inversely to the amount of fabric present. A Bra’d-Cast™ is a sign attached to a magnet or a suction cup to tell husbands there are Bras on Board. Fast tracking the opportunity to get one of those cute little signs saying Baby on Board.

 

The Laundry Sleigh™

Ever tried to lazily slide a laundry basket down the stairs only to have it flip over half way down? Even worse, have you ever had your four-year-old load your two-year-old into it, only to have it flip over halfway down? The Laundry Sleigh is the safe and fun alternative to your every day laundry basket. With an additional six inches, with an additional six inches in length, it won’t catch on the third step and spill out the contents. And a set of two-inch wide slats on the bottom ensure a smooth ride for up to two children. Bicycle helmets are recommended but not included.

And you can forget the laundry chute, I want a Laundry Shove™

After a week of stomach bugs shared by the entire family, I ended up with nine loads of laundry in one day. We have a laundry chute from the upstairs floor to the basement, but it’s just a deception. Someone has to carry it all back upstairs. If you are old enough (or young enough) to remember Tommy Boy, you remember the scene where a beefcake Rob Lowe loses his shirt to a pneumatic mail tube. This is basically the gist of proposal. A simple pneumatic tube that will deposit all the laundry on my wife’s side of the bed, because she still insists on folding it.

(Shirtless Rob Lowe not included)


About The author

I'm a military spouse to my US Navy Lieutenant Commander, Lauren. We are proud parents of Wolf and Bear. When I'm not supporting her career and raising my two wild animals, I teach a law course at the University of Florida, run ultramarathons, and write. I'm the author of "Parenting as a Contact Sport" and currently in search of a publisher. Most stories I publish are proposed additions to a sequel titled "Daddy Hold My Milk: Famous Last Words of a Toddler. Twitter: parentingsport


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