Grieving as a family is challenging, especially for fathers who want to be there for their children while processing their own loss. Here are some straightforward ways to help your child through grief while taking care of your own needs. I have heard countless stories of fathers who were struggling to manage their own grief through the loss of a loved one, while continuing to show up as a stable “provider” that society says fathers are supposed to be. It is for these reasons, that we think it’s important to break down some simple pointers to normalize that grieving is a hard time for all members of the family, dads included!
1. Acknowledge Your Own Grief
Being honest with yourself about your grief sets an example for your child, showing them it’s okay to feel and express emotions.
2. Create a Safe Space
Encourage open conversations and let your child know they can express any emotion. Drawing, storytelling, or quiet moments together can help kids process feelings in ways beyond words. If you’re struggling to feel safe in the moment youself, make sure you reach out for support from family and friends who can give you the space you need to ground yourself.
3. Use Age-Appropriate Honesty
Explain loss in terms they understand, using clear language without euphemisms that might confuse. Respect their ability to handle emotions with your gentle guidance.
4. Show Healthy Coping Skills
Model positive ways to cope—journaling, talking, or even exercising. If you’re open to seeking support, your child will see it as a healthy choice, too.
5. Emphasize Memories
Find ways to honor the person you’ve lost, like sharing stories or making a memory box. This helps kids see that love and memories continue.
6. Watch for Signs of Struggle
Be aware of any changes in behavior that might signal a need for extra support, and remember there’s no timeline for grief.
7. Let Joy Happen
It’s okay to laugh, play, and enjoy moments of happiness, even while grieving. These moments can bring healing and lighten tough days.
Canadian Resources for Grieving Families
When you or your family need extra support, these Canadian resources can help:
- MyGrief.ca – A free online platform from the Canadian Virtual Hospice offering self-guided modules on understanding grief.
- Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA) – Offers grief counseling and support groups through local branches across Canada.
- Bereaved Families of Ontario – Support groups and workshops for families dealing with loss, available throughout Ontario.
- Healing Hearts Canada – Free support groups for those grieving a loved one lost to substance-use-related harm.
- GriefShare Canada – Weekly support groups that offer a supportive community for grief recovery.
- Bereave.IO – Helping businesses and employees navigate death and grief