Photo by: Alena Darmel
It’s known as the “sandwich generation” – caring for your aging parents at the same time you’re caring for your kids. It can be an extremely overwhelming and challenging situation for any parent, but today, we’re going to talk about Dads. Dads- you may be worrying about one generation while trying to be sure you don’t lose focus on helping the other.
Raising your children and caring for an aging parent takes a considerable amount of time and energy and can lead to feelings of stress. You’re not alone! A Pew research study found that nearly half (47%) of adults in their 40s to 50s have a parent over 65 and are either raising at least one young child.
Building a support network is a necessary part of helping Dads while trying to provide their own support for their children and elderly parent(s). This article will give some helpful advice on how Dads can find help and what to do while trying to balance caring for their kids along with their parents.
Streamlining Tasks – There’s an App for That!
One of the first things that Dads can do is be organized with their daily tasks. There’s so much that needs to be done while you simultaneously support your child and care for an aging parent. Working efficiently and diligently through those tasks will take time, and even the little things can add up.
Adjustments that can be made in your day can go a long way, and there are plenty of caregiver apps available to help you coordinate care tasks and even create a solid, centralized plan where everyone involved can be notified.
Make an effort to organize through apps and calendars where you can effectively plan your day and consolidate trips. Consider going to businesses, buying groceries, running errands closer to where you need to be, or for the kids and your parents simultaneously to save time.
Consider Professional Assistance
It can be damaging to your mental health if you feel you can’t tend to your kids and parents’ needs together. It can be beneficial to look into services that may help alleviate some of that pressure and help give you much-needed breaks from time to time.
It doesn’t have to be permanent, although that may be an option eventually. There are plenty of short-term stays for elderly care that can help provide Dads who are caregivers a break from their duties while allowing for care to continue. Many of these facilities can provide a way for seniors to try out their communities before becoming full-time residents if caregiving requires more 24/7 assistance.
Ask For Help
Dads are only one person, and you may feel you’re the only one able to help your kids and your parent – but this isn’t true. Work and other obligations in your life may make it challenging to keep up each day, and sometimes you’ll need a break or time to get away on a vacation.
Don’t shy away or be afraid to lean on others within your close circle of friends and family for help. Most people are happy to lend a hand when needed; the problem is that many of them won’t know what they should do to help out. You should ask for help with specific tasks and duties in mind, such as tending to weekly grocery shopping for your parent or helping with transportation from school for your kids.
You should be prepared to ask for help from a family from out of town or state who come for a visit. They can help to care for parents or kids when they are around and give you some extra rest and relaxation time during their stay.
Take Time Off Work
If you have a good relationship with your boss at work, you should discuss your situation with them. If your schedule changes or allows for more flexibility, you should explore this at your job and see if it’s possible to go more part-time and make it work financially to give you more time to help with your family.
Dads can also do research with the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA), which can allow for leave from your job without risk. Most policies allow for up to 12 weeks of unpaid time and are dependent on how long you’ve worked with your employer and your health insurance.
Talk It Out
Maybe you don’t feel comfortable reaching out and talking to others about your problems as a dad. It can be challenging to express your feelings or frustrations without feeling like you’re burdening others, too. However, it can be impactful in managing your emotions and taking care of yourself just to let it out sometimes.
You should have someone within your close circle who you trust and can relate to, and even maybe a friend who’s going through a similar situation. Don’t be afraid to lean on them, if only for a sympathetic ear and understanding.
If you feel your problems are more profound than just needing a close friend, you might seek professional help. Therapy or counseling are excellent resources and can provide you with the skills to help you work through your emotions in a healthy way, as well as be a safe place for you to be open and learn how to cope.
Dads Can Find Support
Support can take many forms, from time management and organization to giving yourself a break when you need it. Consider your ideal day and incorporate things that bring you joy and help you feel refreshed and recharged, such as getting adequate sleep or hitting the gym a few times a week. Those acts alone can help you cope with caring for children and parents on a busy schedule.
Keep family and friends in the loop, contact them for help when you need a break, and tap into your support system. Allow others to pitch in and do small tasks that can help make your days less stressful. Work through your emotions and allow yourself a good outlet for expressing them. Dads don’t have to care for their children and aging parents alone.
