For the Benefit of both Sons and Daughters
As a clinical child psychologist, I have seen firsthand the detrimental effects of toxic masculinity on both sons and daughters. Toxic masculinity is the belief that traditional masculine traits such as toughness, aggression, and emotional control are the only acceptable traits for men. This type of thinking can be harmful as it can lead to negative outcomes, such as aggression, emotional suppression, and mental health issues.
It is time for fathers to take a step back and examine how their own behaviors may be perpetuating harmful masculine stereotypes and work towards unlearning toxic masculinity. There are practical steps fathers can take to promote healthy expressions of masculinity for the benefit of both their sons and daughters.
How can fathers do this?
First, fathers should examine their own behaviors and attitudes towards traditional gender roles. Traditional gender roles can limit both fathers’ and mothers’ abilities to fully participate in parenting and reinforce harmful stereotypes. Fathers can work towards unlearning harmful gender stereotypes by examining their own beliefs and attitudes towards gender roles and challenging them.
This can include taking on a more active role in caregiving, such as changing diapers or preparing meals, and supporting their partner’s career aspirations. By modeling gender equality and challenging traditional gender roles, fathers can help their children develop more egalitarian attitudes towards gender.
Second, fathers can challenge harmful language that reinforces traditional gender norms. Telling a son to “man up” or a daughter to “be a lady” can perpetuate harmful gender stereotypes and limit children’s emotional expression. Fathers can work towards unlearning toxic masculinity by challenging these stereotypes and encouraging their children to express themselves in healthy and authentic ways.
For example, fathers can teach their sons that it is okay to cry or express emotions and encourage their daughters to pursue traditionally male-dominated interests. By expanding children’s ideas of what it means to be a “real man” or a “real woman,” fathers can help break down harmful gender stereotypes and promote healthy emotional expression.
Self Reflection and connectivity are a way to unlearn toxic masculinity
Third, fathers should examine their own relationships with other men and how these relationships may reinforce toxic masculinity. The pressure to conform to traditional masculine norms can be particularly strong in male peer groups, leading to behaviors such as excessive drinking, risk-taking, and aggression. Fathers can work towards unlearning toxic masculinity by promoting healthy relationships with other men and challenging harmful behaviors.
This can include encouraging their children to form friendships with a diverse group of individuals and promoting healthy communication and conflict resolution skills. Fathers can also model healthy relationships with their own friends and challenge harmful behaviors, such as excessive drinking or sexist language. By promoting healthy relationships with other men, fathers can help break down harmful stereotypes and promote healthier expressions of masculinity.
A dad who cooks dinner?
Fourth, fathers can promote healthy communication and emotional expression within their families. The pressure to conform to traditional masculine norms can often lead to emotional suppression and a lack of healthy communication, which can be damaging to both fathers and their children. By promoting open and honest communication, fathers can help their children develop healthy emotional expression and reduce the negative effects of toxic masculinity.
This can include encouraging their children to talk about their feelings and emotions, as well as modeling healthy emotional expression themselves. Fathers can also work towards resolving conflicts in a healthy and constructive manner, rather than resorting to aggression or violence. By promoting healthy communication and emotional expression, fathers can help their children develop healthy relationships and promote positive expressions of masculinity.
Fifth, fathers can promote positive male role models. It is important for children, both boys and girls, to see positive examples of healthy expressions of masculinity. Fathers can work towards unlearning toxic masculinity by promoting positive male role models, such as male caregivers, educators, and mentors.
By exposing their children to positive male role models, fathers can help break down harmful stereotypes and promote healthy expressions of masculinity. Fathers can also model positive expressions of masculinity themselves and be a positive role model for their children.
Fathers can play a critical role in unlearning toxic masculinity and promoting healthy expressions of masculinity for their children.
In conclusion, toxic masculinity and harmful masculine stereotypes have negative effects on both sons and daughters. As a clinical child psychologist, I have seen the damage that can be caused by these attitudes and behaviors. However, fathers can play a critical role in unlearning toxic masculinity and promoting healthy expressions of masculinity for their children.
By examining their own behaviors and attitudes towards gender roles, challenging harmful language, promoting healthy relationships with other men, promoting healthy communication and emotional expression, and promoting positive male role models, fathers can help break down harmful stereotypes and promote healthy expressions of masculinity for both their sons and daughters.
It is important for fathers to recognize their role in promoting healthy expressions of masculinity and work towards unlearning toxic masculinity for the benefit of their children’s mental and emotional well-being. By doing so, fathers can help create a more positive and equitable world for all.
Dr. Madeleine Vieira
www.drmadeleinevieira.com/books/imafraid
